Postpartum

im in my confinement leave, exactly @day 16. Im a bit stress. I have 2 kids now, n baby is with me, while the eldest uwais is with his fsther, khairul. Im stress with my husband currently until it always popped up in my mind, y am i married to this guy? The kelantan guy? Y did i marry this guy. Is this a mistake? I dont think he is loving me anymore. I dont think he cares about me. He only cares about his children, but not the women who is carrying his children for last 9 months. He always say about wanna get married with  another woman. Yeah, i think he should get married. I dont wanna get impregnated with his children anymore. Im tired. I felt useless. Not being care anymore. I do feel relieve a bit when writing this here. Im going to start my study this weekend. I have to focus on it. I really dont wanna go to arab and stay with him for 2 months. I feel shit. I wanna go for umrah but not staying home with him. I just hope everything will end. Dats n dat.